Monday, January 24, 2011

Insanity

I knew this was coming. I knew I was only a great "starter," not a see-er through-er(?). I knew it was only a lull in work that got me all fired up about my blog and that once the pace picked up, I wouldn't be able to catch up.


I have always been like this...my dance classes, my music, karate, drawing, stamp collecting, C programming, yoga, guitar classes have all started on a hyper energetic note and dwindled down to one of those guilty incompletenesses in my life. Now, I'm afraid to start anything. However, I am starting something today...forcing myself into it and deliberately spending money that I dont have. I'm taking up Spanish classes. 3 days a week after work. I really hope I finish at least the basic course even if I dont continue into the next level. Its a 3 month commitment, which is quite a long one for me.

The irony is not lost on me that I'm posting about yet another project on this blog, which in itself is a project that somehow seems to be slipping from my fingers. I also have another blog in which I use my real name and my friends read, which I haven't posted on for about 10 days now. All this just reminds me of that definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I have been doing that for about 20 years now...( I will forgive myself my first 5 years...I hardly knew what was going on back then..and besides, I'm sure I was too busy discovering the world :D)

However, hope has not completely died yet. It is still January, and I'm still 24, even if it is only for a few days now. Perhaps I'll even manage to get myself a life! :) Here's to making different mistakes this year!

2 comments:

  1. Listen, I do that all the time too.. it definitely is a commitment phobia and a fear of failure... Every time you want to quit, force yourself one more time and then again.. it helped me... but what do I know, i often want to shut down my blog!

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  2. Yes, this yea...I hope to just get things done...I wont worry about quality. That will come later...but just getting things DONE! Ohmigod, blogging really helps! :D

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