My First Rant

I've never worked in an office where I had to interact a lot with guys my age...who are married!! Being as awkward as I am with guys in general, I have NO idea how to behave with...umm...the married guy...is it okay to be friendly? How do you know exactly how friendly you can be? HOLY FUCK...don't want to make any faux pas in the new office. (not that I've had this kind of a problem...but someone thinks I might have something like it if I'm not careful. WAT THE BITCH...thatz another blog tho!) I hate it that I have to defend myself in situations like these, but I am obliged to give some background info. I've recently had a bad experience with a really close friend and I still have no fucking idea how it fucking happened! Ew ew ew ew ew...well...he kinda "got close" to me in a way I didnt want and didnt invite. I DID NOT LIKE IT!! Needless to say, i freaked out BIG TIME and made a holy mess of the whole situation. But it absolutely had to be done and I think I handled it pretty maturely considering EVERYTHING...which is really saying something when you are talking about a chick like me. I'm just sad it happened...but I guess I'm still not over wondering if I somehow contributed to the situation although I'm convinced I didnt. All the girlfriends (much more sensible and experienced than me) that I checked with said I really shouldn't bother thinking along those lines. The friend screwed up, period. But, maybe it the Indian thing or maybe its coz I'm a girl (as much as I'd like to pretend I'm not) or maybe I'm just plain moronic...but I do still bloody wonder if I did something that led to this bizarre, horrible incident. And hence, now I question and second guess everytime I talk to a member of that species...maybe I shud just dig a hole and live in it forever. Thatz my first rant and hopefully it STAYS anonymous for a gazillion years.