After a very long time, I'm feeling a teensy bit alive this evening. It'll only last for a few hours, I know. But before it goes away, I want to pin this down here because I'm so excited! One of the first things way back in my early teens that may even be on of the first pop culture things that awakened a smidgen of feminism in me was this song by Salt-n-Pepa that is part of the OST of Miss Congeniality (which still remains one of my favorite movies despite the twisted message). I think I'm so frantically trying to pin this down only because of a fairly meaningless memory, but I remember sending the lyrics of this one song that was(IS!) soooooooo huge for me to this boy I had a gigantic crush on. He, of course, brushed it off like it meant nothing, which is how it has been with the male of my species for me. Meh. Anyways, I don't know how, but somehow this song appearing in this list (http://flavorwire.com/408585/feminist-cultural-syllabus) is me rolling my eyes and in-your-facing that idiot boy and all he stands for. :) But mostly, it's just me getting incredibly excited, with goosebumps all over, and that transcendant energy flowing through me every time I listen to this song! :D

PS: Don't you LOVE Chandler for loving Miss Congeniality? :D

Happy Birthday to me!

Back after...what?...two years? I'm glad I have this anonymous space. Today is my birthday. I'm 27. Hurrayyyyyyyyyyy! You know what I'd been up to? I'd bunked work for a week now....and moped around the house coz I did not get a promotion I soooooooo totally (okay, mostly at least) I believe I deserve. Well, that's the excuse to mope around, but I'm actually clinically depressed. Oh forget about last week...I'm a little drunk right now...and when better to blog, right? I have a boyfriend now...did I tell you that? Happpened about 4 months ago. NOTHING's different, actually. :D Anti-climactic? YOU BET! If anything, its just that I feel like I'm obligated to call him everyday. I'm pretty sure he feels the same. Thank GOD we're not in the same city.

So anywayz, guess what I did tonight? I went dancing with another girl acquaintance...no point even pretending she's a friend. She's someone I keep in touch with for the sole purpose of going dancing. Thank god it too loud to even make any real conversation. So, I went to this place and blew a whole lot of money on glasses of ice with a squirt of alcohol in them and stared at the uncovered plumbing on the cieling, aghast that the five star hotel that I was in did not even bother to cover up the plumbing and put in a false cieling to "posh" it up a bit. What the FUCK am I paying Rs. 650 a drink for (mostly ice anywayz) at this place? So I can stare a ugly grey pipes and wonder WHY I'm spending the first few hours of my 27th birthday in a place I can hardly hear my thoughts with a person I hardly can call a friend? And then, coz it was almost obligatory, I pointed how much ripped off I felt to my acquaintance, who happens to be an interior designer of some sort. She said she was fine with it, and that, as an interior designer she "understood it." I felt I had to apologize for not getting the whole thing. I'm so sorry I'm out of it...I mean, yes...it totally makes sense that we go to a place where a glass of ice costs Rs. 650 and its "cool" to stand around in a cramped, smoky, smelly place being jostled by other sweaty bodies...and pretending to be all posh. Its clear I'm never going to belong in a place like that and I'm actually relieved, yes...but I must admit...a little wistfully :).

I finally got high enough to go "dance." That's the ONLY reason I can kinda give myself to justify all the stuff I just ranted about. Its cathartic, even if it feels crappy. And it WAS crappy. For the umpteenth time, some sleaze bag wanted to dance with us girls. This time, he was fat, like me. And after a while, I felt a kinship. I was like, oh...he'z prolly feeling awkward just like me...maybe we should stop avoiding him and let him actually dance with us. After two hours of being nice, he goes and hits on my skinny friend....of course! No good deed goes unpunished, right? Oh well...at least I got a smoke off of him. Only, I'm supposed to have quit. I even take a gazillion pictures of him and the skinny acquaintance coz I'm just such a nice girl. Alwayz ready to oblige, amn't I? :D I hope his dick shrivels, permanently.

We finally come back home, and I call up the boyfriend to lay a guilt trip on him for forgetting my birthday. After all, why should I be the only one miserable? He is suitably sorry and I say, "I did not want any gifts from you....I just need you to remember and wish me. Its not too much to ask, is it? I do appreciate the book you sent me via Flipkart...thank you soooooooooooo much! But, I really am disappointed that you forgot!" Yes, I know...I'm a horrible person, but I finally have a boyfriend after 26 years of being invisible and ignored. I want attention, if not from anywhere else, at least from him. It really is NOT too much to ask. Happy Birthday to me. I hope I get to sleep through the rest of the goddamn day. It has been so promising so far!