Monday, February 16, 2015

Coma

I feel like I'm in a coma. Been in one for years. Don't know where life is going, what I'm doing at work, what I should do, what I should think. Sleep has become a drug. Constantly craving it to escape reality. I catch hold of vague ideas floating in my mind on a relatively good day, when I'm feeling marginally alive, and dust up momentum in my head...just so I have something to concrete to think on for a day or two...a moment or two really. Emotions seem soo fleeting. A mood doesn't even last a few hours. Just a couple of hours ago, I couldn't stop grinning about the awesome sex I had this weekend. And now, I'm struggling to even think straight. Will I even wake up? How do I come alive? I want to live...and right now, all I feel like I'm doing is grasping at ephemeral brambles as I dangle off the side of a cliff...dully looking down at the abyss below and wondering if I should just jump. It would be easier, at the very least.

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