Friday, January 28, 2011
It’s done. I’ve turned 25 now. I thought I would hate the day. The dreaded quarter-life crisis was supposed to have arrived. But this day did not turn out anything like I expected. And I am seriously thankful for that.
The one amazing thing I am happy about at 25 is my independence. This is probably the first birthday when I bought myself all the things I wanted. I planned, set aside the money and thoroughly enjoyed the splurging, secure in the knowledge that things have been taken care of. This may sound like a very small, silly thing...but considering how disorganized I used to be and how most of my pleasures were half-guilty, this is really quite a big thing. I revel in it. This is one of the best highs, not only because of the "money" factor, but also because, perhaps for the first time, I did not base the way I am going to feel on this day on anyone else but me. Yes, I'm one of those who've always expected people to remember and somehow, make me happy. I know, I'm a moron :D I cant believe it took me 25 years, but finally, albeit the hard way, I might have found the path to having a great time on my own :) Its awesome!!
The best part? I feel none of the horrible things that I thought I must feel being THIS OLD! May be they are coming, but they haven't hit me yet and I'm not making any futile pacts with God about how I'm not going to turn any older. Mostly, I'm not freaking out. My sense of humor, although serious messed up and downright ridiculous most of the time, has definitely evolved and its taking me places...spiritually? Whatever. I am just happy.
Besides, something that was supposed to trouble me immensely has somehow turned into something quite comforting. I was supposed to have some, if not all, answers…to questions like the following:
• Which way is my life headed?
• What kind of a career am I going to have?
• Am I even going to continue having a career?
• Am I getting married or ending up with a lot of skills/hobbies?
• Am I gonna MAKE ENOUGH?
I have NO CLUE. I have no idea where I’m headed, say…next month. So, planning anything beyond that seems completely pointless. And not having answers suddenly does not scare me. Its comforting knowing that come what may, I will manage. Further than that is probably something I better not know anyway. It’s a little liberating. So, here’s to being 25 and not having any answers.
Posted by Sassy Ass at 1:49 PM